Please forgive this post if it's not as polished and put-together as others have been. Tonight, I am blogging "off the cuff" about something I just started thinking about.
In this season of life right now, there are a bunch of things that have been really hard in a lot of ways. For months, and years in some cases, I've wrestled with the same handful of things. I've been waiting, waiting, waiting for these things to finally get better, go away. To have a moment of epiphany in which everything becomes clear, and the trial fades away.
But it hasn't happened.
For weeks I've been fervently praying, asking the Lord for help. The word that keeps coming to mind is "discomfort." For almost 3 years now, I've been in a constant state of discomfort for some reason or another, and I am just so tired.
Tonight, as I was praying, I realized something.
For the past 3 years, I've been waiting for things to get easier, instead of learning to trust God, and to take whatever He gives with a grateful heart.
And when easy never comes, I lose heart and feel abandoned by God. But what if "easier" never comes? What if it's just always hard?
Oh, man I want to trust the Lord with my whole life so much. But I'm finding it so hard to reconcile this thought - that there might never be a moment where the Lord says "Great job persevering. I will now make this situation "easy!" What if it's just always persevering?
How do you live within the tension of being able to ask the Lord for things, with faith that He will do them, while also remembering that He may, rightfully, choose not to? How do you live gratefully and contentedly, even in the areas of your life that consistently feel like a struggle? How do you, as Job said, receive both good and evil from God with an equally grateful heart?
What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear what you think and process with you.